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Dec. 24th, 2006 | 12:18 am

i was a wad of tissue
that You could have easily discarded,
the way people do with most paper things,
but for whatever reason, You chose not to.
how kind of You.

now i should be growing up,
but i am not.
i am growing down, shrinking,
curling back into that crescent position.
i feel it in my back and in all of my bones.
i am going back to tissue
and no one can stop it.

this isn't supposed to happen.
it goes against all the rules.
i think something has gone terribly wrong
and i think it is something You've done.

i am becoming transparent and pink
in front of your own eyes.
there is now a cord emerging from my belly
and it is pulling me.
i think it is pulling me back into You
and i cannot stop this.

and everything moves backwards,
and all that was behind me is in front of me now.
i am being pulled all the way back
to the moment when i first began,
and i am folding into the core of myself.
i am folding into a nothing that is large and consuming
and You don't even know i'm in here.

now the black is coming over me,
and i think this is the part where i go.
i go into a big,dark waste paper basket
where the other wads of tissue went long before me.
i belong in there too.

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